Posts Tagged ‘NY’

Get Sprung :)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014

Hello Gentlemen –

Well, so glad *that’s* over with now, aren’t we? After a particularly frigid cold winter, I feel like I’m almost finished thawing out… and just in time for Spring! I can’t believe it, just two days ago freezing rain and snow were being driven out of the sky and onto the roads, and now I’m here debating whether or not to shave my dog.

And honestly, I’m kind of in shock! I don’t know about you, but this winter has completely *drained* my usually half-full glass of optimism… time for a refill 馃檪

I was actually looking for a well written rendition of my favorite drink, the St Germain sidecar (it’s a chick drink, I know, but it’s damn good!) to post for someone, but since Google does not drink, he decided that this looks like the best St. Germain recipe on the internet right now –

How do you make a screaming Orgasm?
Shanna Germain

If only it was my lover asking and not these pasty-faced
bar boys with their fake IDs, and their desire
to see me blush. I tell them about raspberry liquor,
pineapple juice, the clink of ice against the glass.
But I can tell it is not what they芒鈧劉re looking for,
their eyes following the shift of legs, the curve of hip.

If only it was my lover asking, then I would say:
Start with an ounce of slow soft strokes.
Combine two pats of butt with a whisper
of tongue against teeth.
Add a touch of hand to the back of the neck,
a lick of earlobe, a pinch of nipple.
Stir until you reach the desired consistency.
脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路脗路Serve hot芒鈧.

Actually, I’m inclined to agree with Google at the moment, that *does* sound like it would taste great, wouldn’t it? Let me know if you’d like to try your hand at playing bartender 馃檪

Taking a good look at my calendar so far, it looks like 2014 is going to be a fantastic year! The weather’s warmed up to the point where I’m able to plan to go North again, and so I’ll be in Portland ME later on this month, from the 10th to the 15th. Grace Sheperd was nice enough to show me around the Old Port last time, and so now I know where to find a fantastic $5 dozen of oysters and a fantastic Earl Grey martini, as well as the best chocolate covered bacon currently being produced on the planet. So you know where to find me…

And speaking of oysters, I’ll be headed down to Long Island later on in April, which has been pulling up a number of fantastic oyster varieties out of it’s bays for the last few years. At first I was a little leery of eating anything out of the Long Island sound (whatever, admit it), but since my favorite West Coast oysters are off limits now (they officials *say* their safe… but whatever, admit it!) I decided to try something new, and was very pleasantly surprised! My new favorite oyster, at least for the next 250 years or so while the waste from Fukishima fades away, is the Naked Cowboy out of Port Jeff 馃檪 The Island Creek Oyster Farm will always hold a special piece of my heart though… as long as they keep hosting that fantastic $1 oyster shot happy hour at the Bleacher Bar during Red Sox season!

And yep, I said Red Sox season, not baseball season… I wonder how popular I’ll be in NY?

That’s not the only excitement on the calendar – I’ll also be headed to New Orleans, and on into Miami in the fall. We’ll see what else comes my way and which ways I head in the meantime! So excited for warm weather, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s still a little early, but I’m already eyeing new breeds of tomatoes to put in the yard, and making plans to survey my diving spots… this year’s going to be awesome 馃檪

While I’m a big fan of New Year’s Eve parties (the perfect way to destress after all that stifling commercialized holiday nonsense), I’d be all in favor of shifting the calendar so that the first day of Spring was the start of the new year. That’s when life really begins, isn’t it?

As if it weren’t perfect enough – these photos were taken in Maine, by a photographer from NY, what are the odds? And for your further viewing pleasure… I can’t wait to meet this woman in October!

Chocolate Kisses

Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Hello Gentlemen –

Happy Bastille Day to you all, and a belated 4th as well 馃檪 Things have been well over here, just running around and trying to make the most of my summer! I consider it a fantastic success so far, all things considered – I’ve spent enjoyed plenty of time both at the beach and in the mountains, spent enough naked time in the sun to fade off most of my tan lines (there are still some there, if you look closely…) and my garden is bringing in plenty of veggies. My pepper plants actually have *peppers* on them for a change! You have no idea how happy I am 馃檪

Last we sort of spoke, I was on my way to Philly, and I loved it. I didn’t really have all that much time to take in the sights, but I fulfilled my obligation as an American citizen and toured the broken bell and the money mint. The most exciting for me was the Rodin museum, and it was everything I hoped it would be. I’d love to go back fro round 2, as I barely had time to make it to the full art museum across the street! I’ve heard that there’s some good theater in Philly as well, but I didn’t get to see a scrap of it… perhaps you’ll find me back there at some point 馃檪 I did find some time during my trip to take some new photos, but unfortunately not quite enough to populate a whole gallery like I like to do. So for once, the photos on my blog post are actually of me – hopefully that doesn’t confuse too many casual passerbys when they dig into my blog archives. Although, for those of you who have seen me, I’m pretty sure you can tell the difference between me and any other random internet model, lol.

Next, I’ll be headed to upstate NY – a beautiful place, especially in the height of summer. I’ll be in the Hudson Valley from the 21st to the 23rd, and then up to Albany from the 24th until the 27th. I’m looking forward to catching up with a few of my old friends, and rediscovering some of my favorite diving sites! Of course, you’re more than welcome to talk me down from the ledge and lure me inside for a few hours 馃檪

Aside from that, I think that’s going to be my only foray far from home for the rest of the summer. I love New England during the summer, so why would I leave? As luck would have it, I’m also just a quick inquiry away from many of my favorite men 馃檪 I do have a few local dates on my calendar though, so feel free to take a look. You’ll notice that I’m headed off to the casino again in early August, where I’m looking forward to meeting and catching up with several fascinating fellow hedonists for the evening. One is the amazingly delicious Tabitha Cook, who was nice enough to list me in her Chocolate Diamonds directory recently (I value my discretion, but appreciate the compliment :)). In honor of her, I’ve been spending some time tonight getting domestic and putting the finishing touches on my chocolate body paint recipe! I’ve made three renditions so far, which do you think that she’d like best? Which one do you think that *you’d* like best? My vote is for the chocolate chili, as I’m a fan of spicy girls 馃檪

Chocolate Body Paint

Serves 2

18oz脗聽 60% or greater dark chocolate, chopped
14oz cream
1/2 bunch mint, finely chopped
1 chili pepper, finely chopped
Double shot espresso

1. Divide cream into 3 individual pans

2. Add mint into 1 pan, chili into the second pan, and espresso into the third pan

3. Slowly warm each pan to a near simmer and remove from heat, allowing flavor to infuse for 15 minutes.

4. Place dark chocolate in a small bowl and set over a small saucepan of barely simmering water. Stir constantly until chocolate melts.

5. Remove pan from the heat.

6. Divide chocolate into 3 small pots.

7. Return pans of cream to heat and, once hot, strain each pan of cream into 1 chocolate pot, creating 3 separate flavored-chocolate body paints.

I would love to help satisfy your chocolate craving 馃檪 Let me know if you’d like to take a taste test!

~Mme X~

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Is Spring in the Air Yet?

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you’ve had the opportunity to get out and get some air on these last few nice days! I did, and just in time – it had just hit the point in the winter that I decide I can’t take another flake of snow, and vow to move back to the Islands before he next one. Un/fortunately I know that I’m kidding myself, as I’ve got things to do in Boston that will keep me here for at least another year… or longer, until they develop proper industry facilities in the Caribbean. Yes, it is nice to lounge around on the beach for days on end with not a single care in the world an nothing urgent to do – but I’m still not in a position where I can logically entertain *tanning* as a career choice just yet. So, I guess I’ll have to put up with this insanely fluctuating temperature for a few more years.

Even though I’m pretty much beached here for a while, I have been able to move around a little bit 馃檪 I had the opportunity to visit Atlantic City for the first time ever, and it was awesome! I still love Foxwoods, but seeing Atlantic City has made me more curious as to what Vegas really looks like. Don’t laugh at me, but I still have never been. To be honest, it looks like it might be pretty scary, if anything I read in Fear and Loathing is true!

As fun as it was (and truly, it was fantastic), I must say that I made the trek up North feeling a little embarrassed with myself for turning my back on work for so long (4 days! I’d totally check out a workaholics anonymous meeting, but it would just end up being another networking party). Seriously, I went to *Atlantic City* and totally ignored what I should have been doing in several nearby cities. And so I returned home to see where I could clear some space in the future for what should have been done already, and… it looks like I’m going to have to move that trip to DC that I didn’t even have time to tell you I was planning. DC and I have some geographically unrequited love, it seems…

All things considered, it looks like NYC wins out among the most urgent cities to visit. I’ve got a couple things to do, and a lot of leisure time in between those things to spend with my Manhattan men 馃檪 Let’s pencil in a private meeting to debrief each other and investigate some internal affairs!

It looks as of now that I’ll be in the city from 4/18 – 4/21. One other compelling reason to head back into NY came up…

I moved out of New York a long time ago, and have no regrets about doing so. Everyone in New England is so nice, in the extremely genuine and authentic way that we appreciate (though people from more “laid back” places might consider uncomfortably direct) and so I’ve made great friends here and gotten quite comfortable. Boston is a wonderful city, but we must admit that when it comes to the scene aspect of sensuality, it leaves a lot to be desired. There’s a few strip clubs, yes. Heading down in the NY direction, there’s even a single swing club! I hear there’s also one in Northern NH, but I haven’t seen it with my own eyes. I really don’t much bother with it, because NY has 3 great public swing clubs, a few special interest clubs, and a bustling private scene that caters to even more special interests… and I’ll admit I’ve got a few of those, and it’s been on my mind lately!

My favorite mindreader and very good friend, the Black Marquis, noticed that I did not attend Cinekink in NYC last week. Honestly, with all the goings on around here it just slipped my mind, but the Marquis pointed out that I really should *not* have let that happen. Cinekink is like Sundance, only for art porn – and just the same, no one is going to watch the movies. The theater is full of sleeping people, trying to catch up on the hours of sleep they lost partying the night before, in time for the next series of after parties. In the NY social scene, it’s important to go, because in just a few short days you can catch up on an entire year of who’s who and score yourself a year’s worth of invites to all those awesome events that other people only hear about after the fact. Not that I have all that much time to run back and forth into the city anymore, but it is nice to know that I could… Anyway, the Marquis socially saved my ass yet again and sent me a summary of the parties that I should be putting on my calendar. We’ll see how many make it there!

I definitely want to at least hit the suspension show, especially because I’ll be traveling with one of my favorite female Dominants, Grace Shepard. Fun times! I can’t wait to report back 馃檪

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2013 is looking up!

Friday, January 25th, 2013

Hello Gentlemen!

I know, I know… I really should have gotten around to putting up some new posts already this year, but I’m sure you can relate to the fact that stuff is going on. Lots of stuff! Not sure where to begin, really…

Uh, how were your holidays? Mine went very well, thanks for asking. And New Year’s? Amazing as well, very much enjoyed it. I came back to a couple of exciting developments at the day job(s), which pretty much had me running non-stop all January until literally *right* now. Whew! Fun times all around though, and I do it all again in a heartbeat… just give me a minute to catch my breath first!

I had a number of plans to up my travel time during the New Year, and figured I would kick it off with a trip to Philly. I’m sure I’m missing out on some fantastic times there, but between the fact that things were simply so hectic here, and the fact that because of all the goings-on I couldn’t find the time to reach out and tell anyone that I was going to be there (but a big thank you to those that noticed), I decided there wouldn’t be much harm done if I just called it off and took the extra few days to lounge around in my fluffy bathrobe and see what my local boys have been up to lately 馃檪 I’m still here, and still in my bathrobe (which is as dressed as I ever get in my own home), so please do give me a call so that we can catch up!

In year-end reflection, I realized that I don’t really “tour” like a lot of ladies do. I really don’t do much like other ladies do, which leads to a lot of frustration when guys ass/u/me that I’m just like the rest… a pattern that seems to be growing lately since they started letting idiots get on the internet. Anyway, I don’t really tour in the traditional sense. I travel for work or to visit friends, and if I have time I will take time out to relax with a date or two during my stay. I don’t really put too much emphasis on advertising in the traditional sense, both because I hate ads and I keep such a “low volume” (god I hate that term) that there’s not really much point in it besides reminding the other ladies that I still exist. This area of my life has never really been allowed to take center stage – Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy you men immensely, but *individually*, not as a mass conglomerate. I love what I do here, but I’m more into the individual connection and the resulting intimacy than I am into the dynamics of the scene as a whole. I really can’t wrap my head around the fact that my attitude is rare, but you men keep telling me that it is… I’m not call you a liar, but I don’t believe you. If I’m good, then it’s only because you bring out the best in me 馃檪

Still, after hearing so much about this “touring” thing from much more thoroughly branded girls than I, I decided that 2013 was my chance to give it a try. Apparently it’s not… but I definitely won’t just be sitting still, as the day job has several places they’d like to send me, and they’d especially like me to fit Jackson Missippi into my schedule (how subtle, right?), and I figure I should get a jump on that before it gets hot as Hell down there (I couldn’t resist). I might take a few days beforehand to spend some more time in New Orleans and indulge in a little deviance and debauchery – or maybe a lot, to make the trip worth it! Indianapolis is on my radar as well, but I’m waiting for that one to warm up… Stay tuned for those dates, though you of course know how to light a fire under my hot ass 馃檪 Please do get in touch, as I’m sure I’ll be looking for company in both cities…

I’m also needed in Long Island asap, which according to Boston (who would like to see me move into my office), is going to be the first week of March. I’m actually excited, as I have some friends down there that I haven’t seen in quite a while, and I actually might be bringing a friend with me. Hopefully I’ll have enough time to squeeze in another post with more details between here and there… but if you just can’t control you’re curiosity, just ask and I will gladly answer 馃檪

Where else? I did court some contracts in Philly because I figured I’d be in town (and I’m a workaholic), so I still do have to head out that way at some point. Sure, I’ve got Skype, but since I have to put on clothes for that (I tried the “neck up” camera thing for a while, and I kept getting called on it, so no more naked video conferences) I figure I might as well just fly out there.

Someone actually asked me the other day if I “toured” Brattleboro VT. Times are a changing, eh? Just to make it clear once again, New England is my local area. I never understand girls who post that they’re in one city one day, then post that they’ll be two town over the next day… I can’t tell who’s lazier, the girl who wouldn’t bother venturing a safe distance from home before publicly advertising, or the men who will see her in Waltham, but not in Lexington. For the record, I have a rather nice, comfortable car, and don’t mind driving short distances to meet you.

That reminds me, I do have some local travel to post on the calendar as well. I’ll be in Providence tomorrow, Boston on Sunday, Portsmouth on Monday, Manchester on Tuesday, and Boston again on Wednesday. All in my local area, as far as I’m concerned 馃檪

Well, I feel a little bit of the tension I built up over January fading away a little bit… now off to a hot bath and my waterproof rabbit to melt away the rest. But first, enjoy this!

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 芒鈧揘otice anything different about me?芒鈧

Margaret looked him over. 芒鈧揘ope.芒鈧

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 芒鈧揘otice anything different NOW?芒鈧

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, 芒鈧揃ert, what芒鈧劉s different? It芒鈧劉s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it芒鈧劉ll be hanging down again tomorrow.芒鈧

Furious, Bert yelled, 芒鈧揂ND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT芒鈧劉S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?芒鈧

芒鈧揘ope. Not a clue,芒鈧 she replied.


Without missing a beat Margaret replied, 芒鈧揝houlda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.芒鈧

Oh, and some porn, of course 馃檪 And what a coincidence, I just bought a nearly identical checkered outfit on my way home last night!

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Happy 4th!

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you’ve all had a delightful summer so far! I have – it’s blueberry season and the bushes are *loaded* right now, totally beyond my expectations. Must be some lazy birds this year, usually I have to search to get just a few handfuls of berries. My dog doesn’t understand what the big deal is about blueberries (and really doesn’t see why I would hike a whole mountain to go get some, when the grocery store is just around the corner), but she got pretty enthusiastic about the ginger ice cream / blueberry syrup sundae I fed her last week at the beach 馃檪 I love beach season, and definitely see myself hanging around Portsmouth pretty regularly for the rest of the summer… please do get in touch if you’re in the area.

As far as other areas, you boys know that I’m pretty much exclusive to New England during the summer months, unless work or some other irresistible temptation lures me away. So far, my summer is safe and stashed away for my local boys, aside from a quick couple of days in the city at the end of the month 馃檪 Just before that, I’ll be hanging around playing at the casinos with my deliciously deviant friend Grace Shepard (you may have met her – if not, you want to! I’d be happy to introduce you). After that, I foresee a few fleeting engagements in CT, and I would be shocked if Maine didn’t creep back onto the agenda at least a few more times… don’t you have a casino up there now, too?

After that, though, it’s going to be a different story. This fall you’ll find me in Vegas, California, and (I can’t wait!) New Mexico! Probably a few more places as well, and of course suggestions are welcome… but fret not, Boston boys, I will find my way back to your arms… I’ve got a few degrees I have to finish 馃檪

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Erotographic Exhibitionism Inside!

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Hello Gentlemen –

Ok, this last heat wave made even me flinch… my maximum temperature is somewhere around 98 degrees. Anything hotter, and I will have to admit defeat! Thankfully, a little rain and a nice cool breeze have come in and brought us back to our regularly scheduled summer, just in time for the habitually hot month of August. I’m fine with that. I very much enjoy August, and I’ll be spending a good week of it out in Upstate NY to go visit some of my favorite places and people! Perhaps you’re lucky enough to count yourself as one of them?

Speaking of my favorite places, I’ve posted a few (emphasis on few) new photos over in the gallery. Can you pick out which ones? Of course more are coming – I just got bored with the black and white thing, and am looking for some more color to add instead. We’ll see what I come up with. In the meantime, enjoy!

As you can probably imagine, I am often asked to share my opinion (and maybe more) on a wide variety of fetishes. Other than a few areas of fascination in my libidinous life, I can’t say that I’m incredibly kinky. I consider myself more experimental than anything else… and yes, I do experiment often, with or without any number of apparatus 馃檪 I’ve found a handful of things that I crave intensely, a few things that I enjoy immensely, a bunch of things that are a bunch of fun, and some really interesting stuff. All in all though, I can say that I’ve come across some ridiculously fun words to say!

Erotographomania – a strong and sometimes overwhelming desire to write love letters and/or poetry. I can definitely relate to that, (btw, I did notice that is *available*. You, yes you, and how have you been, should really get on that asap) although I more feel like I fall a willing victim to it’s closely related cousin, xenoerotographomania, or the desire to write love letters and or poetry to strangers. If you’ve ever wondered how I can keep posting such exhaustive blog posts and still answer every worthwhile inquiry with in-depth interest, there’s your answer – mania. Or a strong, sometimes overwhelming desire… doesn’t that sound more enticing?

I’ve received some pretty racy emails also, so I know I’m not the only one with this occasional obsession. I enjoy reading erotic literature, whether or not it is personally written for me (although I especially enjoy those that are!). I do wonder though, would reading other people’s love letters be considered erotographic voyeurism?

~Mme X~

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Now with 20% More Class!

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen!

Hope you all had fantastic Independence Days! Myself, I had a wonderful time, although I could only expect as much 馃檪 I’m a big fan of barbecues and fireworks, so how could the weekend be anything but stellar? I even managed to find some time to sneak off and have some of my own personal fun (thank you for adding motivation to do so, btw) which was just amazing icing on an already awesome 4th of July cake! Looking forward to many more nice summer days, preferably with fireworks and awesome cake.

Even though I tend to address mainly men in this area of my life (other areas of my life are reserved exclusively for females, btw – I don’t think I’ve gone on a hetero civilian date in years!), I’m occasionally reminded that my modest readership includes ladies as well. And I’m so happy about that! Though girls, I totally wish you’d comment or something, as the guys will be thinking that I’m just making you all up, lol. An especially targeted glance toward those that like to steal my publicly posted internal monologue and post excerpts of it to various boards and blogs and echo my opinions as your own… Anyway. Generally, I hear from ladies via email and we have all sorts of fun bouncing ideas around together. And speaking of, I think I see a strip poker tournament coming up on the horizon! I have never played poker before, so I’m sure to end up naked 馃檪 That’s half the fun though! Let me know if you’d like to buy in.

Recently I was having half an email conversation with a lady that I’ve semi-known for a while, and I was in an uncharacteristically negative mood. I briefly went over a few trends that I saw slowly gaining footholds in our lovely lifestyle here, and noticing the downward slide induced a sullen knot in the pit of my stomach. But, just as I suspected, it was only something I ate! I ran into some friends I had been out to drinks and dinner with the day before, and we all came to the same conclusion – that bar food was simply no good. However, even after a few tums and a good nights sleep, I still notice a marked difference between the way this “hobby” (that term is not nearly so irksome to me as are it’s illiterate sounding derivatives, i.e. hobbyist – wtf is with that?) stands now and what it once was way back when, at least for me, which is really not that long ago in the grand scheme of things.

As always, note that any negativity is not directed towards you guys (unless you are sub-par bar food). You’re great, definitely a greatist, lol. My only complaint is, it would really help fortify my faith in humanity if I could be assured that there were more men like you… it’s been briefly alluded to, by myself and others, that I don’t go on first dates very often. Sure, inquiries come in, but… well, if you’ve met me then you know how I am. You’re probably confused, thinking that it was mindblowingly easy, in fact quite enjoyable, to coherently and respectfully introduce yourself, go through a brief bout of particulars before we could begin teasing each other with specifics to ensure that we both had the same idea of fun once the time rolled around. You may even be pleased at how effortlessly we fell into such an amazing level of intimacy and how close we’ve become over the years – goodness, it doesn’t feel like years, does it? I’m equally impressed, constantly, with how great it had been getting to know you, biblically and otherwise! Unfortunately though, it is not always so easy. Not nearly always. I’m not going to gripe too much as it really causes me no *actual* stress beyond sending 90% of my messages to the trash, but it seems intelligible text or any sign of complete thought is something that many people have a hard time getting the hang of. Social skills even more so. I am not sure how other ladies feel, but I simply can not muster enough enthusiasm to go shut myself alone in a room with a person who has already annoyed and/or bored me before I’ve even seen them. I would not be at my best, for sure – and I want you wonderful gents to get the best of me 馃檪

But bigger than that! I like to keep a fairly low profile, for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I’m busy. I have a life I love, and I like to spend most of my time living it. I definitely do love this indulgent area of my life, but let’s just say that my favorite part of it is not posting to my blog and maintaining some sort of persona, lol. You already know what my favorite part is 馃檪 Second, and it wasn’t always this way, is boredom. Plain and simple, I’ve gotten profoundly bored with what some aspects of this lifestyle have become. Don’t get me wrong, you guys are the most fascinating sort! I love hearing about your research, your projects, your travels, and your dog. Unfortunately though, it seems that unless I am completely pointed in the wrong direction (which happens sometimes) there is simply not a place where only interesting, witty, sensual men gather to discuss anything at all. There’s definitely something going on – I do check around the forums occasionally. For the last *long time* there has been nothing there but lists of acronyms serving as ads, occasional questions posed by idiots and officers, a bunch of jerks picking on pointless bits of nothing like maggots on bones… and that’s about it. I could be even more critical, but there’s no point in that. You see what I’m talking about. Even the few of you I knew initially through forum conversations – I haven’t seen your handles around in a long, long while. I don’t really know what I’m saying by that, but I am saying that I have noticed, and I’m sure you have too.

I guess I must have rushed the ice cream too soon after dinner. I rarely get sick, just nostalgic and maybe a little bit bitchy 馃檪 I actually enjoy my subdued self image, and you know as well as I that we ladies have to be ever mindful of the balance between discretion and exhibition to continue to happily exist here. It’s just that the internet has become just like TV was when the internet was new – there’s nothing on! Just ads! Annoying ads at that, the ones that play much louder than your regularly scheduled programming and urge you to buy now, as time is quickly running out between here and the next commercial break. And it seems like because of that, no one’s really watching anymore, only couch potatoes with nothing better to do. Sometimes in the middle of the night they might even muster up the motivation to call in and ask if they can get a free gift with or without purchase. And, I send them to the trash. It’s ok on the bottom line, since I’m happy with you boys (though I am pretty much constantly horny – much hornier than my schedule will allow for unfortunately), but still, I can’t help but wonder if the world has really slid down a steep hill of stupid while I wan’t looking. </rant>

<rant> But (and I know that one should never begin nor end with a preposition, kiss my grammatically rebellious but) since I’ve already opened the can of worms, I’ll be the polite hostess and offer you a few more. Over the course of the years I’ve officially descended into occasional lurker status, I have seen pages of threads about what people hate about girls ads… not nearly so many about what ladies like about men’s approaches, btw… let me add one. Girls, if you use the word classy to describe yourself, then that word doesn’t describe you (with of course the exception to a particular redhead whose drapes and carpet match quite nicely – that is classy!). Upscale… don’t even get me started – I can start myself 馃檪 It’s a relative word. To identify something, someone, or yourself as upscale automatically at the same time identifies other things which, by definition of the first object, are beneath whatever was claimed to be higher on the scale, perhaps you. Therefore, if those lesser things did not exist, your dominion over them would also vanish, leaving you with no identifying traits. That is a pretty precarious position to be in, especially with every other girl claiming to be just as upscale as you are. The same goes for ideas such as best, better, bestist, etc. Classier still, they ask only for roses, the most elegant form of flora (I prefer the awkwardly shaped orchid – try carrying 1600 of those into a hotel lobby! I would so *do* the engineer who could pull off such a feat)脗聽 Let me just remind you that those Burger King crowns are free, guys… and let me also remind you, after reading so many rip off threads – when you hang out with stupid people, stupid stuff is bound to happen. Respect yourself.

Lol, thanks for putting up with me 馃檪 That is pretty much my take on the cyber social scene for the last 3 years. Yes, I totally said cyber! That should be clear indication that I’ve been doing this much longer than 3 years, lol. And before you ask, no, I’m not saying anyone should do anything differently then they already do – I like you guys just the way you are.

Now that I’m breathing better with all that weight off my chest – I’m due to be in Upstate NY sometime next month. The week of the 20th to be more exact. In between here and there? I’m around.

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Roses are red, and Joe’s a jerk

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you all had an amazing holiday! I *love* fireworks, and hopefully I’ll see plenty more before the summer’s through. Get in touch if you’re still looking for your 4th of July bang. My summer plans have been coming along nicely a well, I’ve been busy trying to make the most of my free time, visiting my favorite swimming spots and doing quite脗聽 a bit of diving.

Earlier this week I spent the day at one of my *favorite* spots out in upstate NY, catching up with some of my favorite friends… regrettably, I don’t see either the place or the people as often as I’d like, so I spent a little longer out there than I planned to. I was surprised to find that one of my best friends is recently single – ordinarily we’d all be slapping high fives and congratulating him, but in this case not so much… His ex is *ridiculously hot*, in addition to being an extremely intelligent and accomplished woman who complimented his life (full of his own achievements) in a spectacular way. If it had been any other man, I would have said he didn’t deserve such an incredible girl anyway, but my friend, (we’ll call him Joe) is a pretty incredible guy himself. Smart, spectacularly accomplished, well bred for whatever that’s worth these days, and really really ridiculously good looking. In addition to all that, his previous ex girlfriends (all fairly accomplished and attractive women) have told me that he’s amazing in bed. Seriously, the man must eat a big bowl of awesome for breakfast every morning. So why did… let’s call her Rebbecca… leave Joe? Simply put, I eventually had to admit to my friend, because he’s a jerk.

It wasn’t the cheating. They were both reasonable people who understood the value of respect and commitment, and the uselessness of monogamy. According to her, it certainly wasn’t the sex, although she did complain to me once that he had annoying habit of waking her up too early on her days off. They had plenty in common in regards to both activities and ideals, and really looked great together overall. Personally, I think she was his best looking girlfriend to date, in the time that I’ve known him.

But Joe’s a jerk. While no outsiders can really be certain of what goes on between two people when no one else is watching (and I do value my privacy and yours, so I’m happy about that), he really ought to have given that woman a huge amount more respect than he ever did when I was around. I can understand that from someone as awesome as Joe, respect can be a pretty hard thing to earn, but it’s not like you have to be frozen in awe of the woman constantly. It’s the little things that count, such as excusing yourself from yet another mundane meeting to go to her lecture and hear her talk about her research, or leaving someone else in charge of your development project for a weekend so that you can attend her sister’s wedding. Maybe think twice about filling your house with guests the week she returns from her missionary position in the desert? Even a dumbass that can’t figure out how to make a common woman feel special should still be able to make such a remarkable woman feel *valued*, at least?

Not Joe! Every time I showed up over the house for the last 3 years, I’d hear all about Joe – the evolution of Joe’s new project and how it would be able to finally crystallize Joe’s ideals in a concrete way that would show their inarguable worth to humanity, the degradation of Joe’s *old* ideas and how they were corrupted by inadequate petty people who failed to see the potential of Joe’s ideals in essence脗聽 and instead lost all that was good about them in the face of greed and fear (Joe’s a bit dramatic at times, but we enjoy each other’s theatrics), and basically how awesome everything Joe’s doing is, and how cool all his friends are and how wonderful it is that we all do awesome things. Being one of Joe’s friends, I do have to admit that we are in fact wikid cool… but how’s Rebbecca doing?

Rebbecca really didn’t speak to us much, except when asked, and I sort of got the impression that I was the only person that was asking. She was usually on her way to or from some exotic and virtuous charity mission, collecting data to support one of her profound anthropological theories, or doing something else that could easily be the topic of a riveting discussion. To ask Joe about Rebecca, however, all I would hear about was the wretched TV she insisted on buying (even though Joe’s friends enjoyed watching it when they were over), how her fixation on roses was standing in the way of Joe achieving a perfect biodynamically balanced yard, and how he distracted her from his plans by asking his opinion on the cookies she made for his party.

Joe has a pretty negative view on women altogether, which even though he’s a super cool guy and a great friend, is hard to put up with. For all the years I’ve known him, he layers me with praise saying how different I am from other women. Actually, I hear that a lot, mainly from chauvinists. I’m not interested in petty things like most women, I’m not artificially vain, I hold my ideals tightly in spite of fear and temptation to stray (which is easy, considering that one of my main ideals is to give in to temptation whenever feasible… and not much really scares me more than spiders), and I’m considerate without the selfishness of sympathy. I strongly disagree that any of that separates me from the half of the human population which the other half seems to regard as indecipherable. I’d say that the only thing that sets me apart, besides certain physical features, is that I talk a *lot*. And I’m not afraid to talk about what matters to me… I’m not afraid of anyone else’s opinion, unless you happen to be a spider. However I’m pretty sure that if any woman got over the fear of speaking their mind, and had enough trust in their listeners not to hold their words against them (frankly, my dears, I don’t give a damn), they’d probably show themselves to be just as “different”. Joe disagrees with me, but like I said, he’s a jerk.

Joe’s really sad about Rebbecca… the primary girl he’s been sleeping with since, while very pretty, is admittedly not as awesome as Rebbecca, who accepted an extended assignment abroad, dug up the roses, and told Joe he could keep the TV. I hope that somehow she gives Joe a second chance, because Joe was visibly much happier with her than any of the hot chicks he’s been with prior, even if he didn’t notice it himself at the time. And I really missed seeing her gorgeous legs walk around when we went skinny dipping last weekend.

~Mme X~

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Sweet Seduction

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you all enjoyed your Easter! Even if you don芒鈧劉t believe in Zombie Christ (I芒鈧劉m Catholic, so yes I proudly worship the undead messiah, thank you very much), it was still a beautiful day to be enjoyed by all :) And glad to say that it just keeps getting better! I stopped by one of my favorite place to get lost today, and spent a good part of the afternoon being relieved that spring rain is at least 15x warmer than fall rain, which means I can now enjoy a walk regardless of precipitation. Besides, if the rain gets really heavy out there, there芒鈧劉s a silent movie theater to run to. A great way to wait out any storm! That芒鈧劉s my second favorite movie theater to go to, after the skinema in Hartford.

I love to go get lost芒鈧 nowhere is a wonderful place to be, and I enjoy having no one around to prevent me from feeling the freedom of anonymity. Of course, it芒鈧劉s possible to still explore a different version of that same circumstance while running through megatropolis 芒鈧 such as NY. Only once, in all my thousands of trips down to the subway have I ever actually run into someone I knew (subway musicians don芒鈧劉t count!) and I芒鈧劉m told even that is quite the anomaly! And btw, I芒鈧劉ll be back in the city the week after next (4/18 芒鈧 4/20), looking forward to running through streets full of strangers芒鈧 and maybe tracking down a few of my favorite friends as well :) I missed going to the Met last time 芒鈧 instead, I chose to oggle naked modern art.

Speaking of naked modern art! I know it芒鈧劉s incredibly impolite to kiss and tell, but a girl can芒鈧劉t be a lady all the time芒鈧 and so I have to tell you gentlemen (who I know would *never* submit to such an uncouth urge as to tell everyone on the internet what you did with whom) at least a little bit about the torrid tryst that I shared with my hot Dominican girl :) She芒鈧劉s not my girlfriend, she芒鈧劉s barely even a friend these days as our work schedules seem to conspire to keep us in separate cities 芒鈧 I hadn芒鈧劉t seen her for nearly a year! Luckily, I have a fetish for sleeping with strangers, lol. I didn芒鈧劉t waste a minute thinking about the time gone by, and apparently neither did she.

One thing I love about her is that she is incredibly kinky, and fortunately we have quite a few kinks in common. Of course, her wild spontaneous attitude helped to win me over as well, never mind her fantastic ass! I had waited patiently in the city most of the week脗聽 until she returned from a business trip to another city, and on Friday night I finally got her call. She asked me if I wanted to go out to someplace nice where we could really show ourselves off – but when I pressed for details as to where she was planning for us to go and what we might do there, it became clear that she wasn’t actually intending to leave the house once I got there! I figured that left me a little bit of liberty and decided to dress for fun rather than functionality… and put on a candy bikini 馃檪 I also made sure to wrap up my candy whip and take it along as well, if for no other reason besides it’s inherent deliciousness! To cover up all my naughtiness, I put on a risque-but-still-respectable dress, a pair of peeptoe pumps with heels only slightly higher than normal, and a pair of feathered fake eyelashes which took me nearly an hour to put on straight. The ridiculous things we do to impress girls, right? Once I arrived at her place though, I was so happy I put in the extra effort, as she clearly had as well – gold lipstick and a leather bustier which I soon found out was covering up some carefully applied gold nipple gloss.

We happily greeted each other, and almost immediately after our initial embrace she declared that I was stressed out from travel, and that she should relax me with a massage and warm glass… which I’ll admit *was* quite relaxing. I had had it in my head on the way up there that I was going to ask to take her out to dinner, but before I even had a chance she was already on to desert, taking cartons of green apple and blackberry sorbet out of the freezer and hot fudge syrup out of the microwave, and before I knew it we had made sundaes out of each other and eaten as much as we could 馃檪 I spent most of the next day in the shower with her while we washed chocolate out of our hair (above and below, lol) but I certainly wouldn’t want to complain about that either!

~Mme X~

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Mixed Signals

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Hello Gentlemen –

I saw my first set of bats today, signifying that the weather is officially on it’s way to getting better! Those leather-wing things only come out when they’re sure they can get some non-frozen food, lol… which also means bugs are coming out early this year. Speaking of, I need a new bat house! My last one didn’t survive the winter, and I’m afraid that without it carpenter bees will try to move into my porch again. They don’t sting, but they aggravate my dog… anyway, warmer weather means less clothes, which means more eye candy for you 馃檪 I know it’s still a little early, but at least we have something to look forward too – longer days and shorter skirts!

In particular, I’m looking forward to my upcoming foray with NYC… for many reasons (and please do get in touch if you’d like to be one of them). One being, a I left a girl there a while back that I just recently got in contact with. She’s smart, adventurous, has the cutest smile in my known universe, and is ridiculously fun to go our with… and she’s drop dead gorgeous. Ludicrously cute, her ass is seriously unbelievable! And best of all, she’s fantastic in bed. We used to get together when I was in the habit of frequenting the city on business (and yes, I once again broke the cardinal rule of not dipping one’s pen in the company ink… even though I have no such proverbial pen, but whatever) but of course, little non-committal me let her get away. She kept saying she’d see me when she came up to Boston, but the few times she was up this way I wasn’t, and eventually I suppose we got tired of chasing each other around.

I used some of my down time this week to track her down and schedule a conversation (we’re both equally busy, and this wasn’t *her* week off, so I hope the fact that she made time for me is a good sign?), and she’s just as charming as ever. She invited me to come over to her place at some point during my stay, and of course I offered to have her come down to my place instead, to save her the housework that always follows entertaining. At which point she reminded me that the corner store on her block stocks mango ice cream, and she has no idea what flavors are available at the store downtown… and left me hanging to my phone with my memory of the last time we ate mango ice cream off of each other in her living room.

Aside from a semi-favorite ice cream flavor (I can’t commit to just one flavor!), I love the fact that we have so much in common, especially in the bedroom, where we immediately hit it off. Ice cream being the first one – google tells me I’m a splosh fetishist, meaning I enjoy mixing food with erotic action 馃檪 I’ll admit that I have quite the sexual sweet tooth… I usually tone it down a bit during my encounters and limit myself to whipped cream, cherries and carefully controlled chocolate syrup, if only for the reason that I haven’t found a good set of rubber sheets yet (*ahem*) and wrapping the bed with saran wrap just isn’t my idea of satisfying foreplay. I also enjoy a good shock of cold once in a while, so ice cream wins again. It’s good to wake up the nerves once in a while to make sure that they’re all alert and responsive to whatever touch they’re about to enjoy… making a bucket of ice a handy thing to have during an extended amount of oral indulgence. Temperature play is also one of this girl’s favorite things – and one of *my* favorite things was spending the night blindfolded on her bed while she kept me in suspense with her collection of stainless steel sex toys, each sitting in a different temperature of water. It was delicious running through the range of pretty damn cold (I swore I heard her open the fridge once or twice) all the way up to sauna hot ! I’d say I want to relive those moments, but I’m sure we’ll think of something even more fun to do to each other this time around. Still, I’m bringing along my steel anal plug to throw in the freezer for her as revenge 馃檪

~Mme X~

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