The Mystery of Madame X

Hello Gentlemen –

Well, so glad *that’s* over with now, aren’t we? After a particularly frigid cold winter, I feel like I’m almost finished thawing out… and just in time for Spring! I can’t believe it, just two days ago freezing rain and snow were being driven out of the sky and onto the roads, and now I’m here debating whether or not to shave my dog.

And honestly, I’m kind of in shock! I don’t know about you, but this winter has completely *drained* my usually half-full glass of optimism… time for a refill 🙂

I was actually looking for a well written rendition of my favorite drink, the St Germain sidecar (it’s a chick drink, I know, but it’s damn good!) to post for someone, but since Google does not drink, he decided that this looks like the best St. Germain recipe on the internet right now –

How do you make a screaming Orgasm?
Shanna Germain

If only it was my lover asking and not these pasty-faced
bar boys with their fake IDs, and their desire
to see me blush. I tell them about raspberry liquor,
pineapple juice, the clink of ice against the glass.
But I can tell it is not what they’re looking for,
their eyes following the shift of legs, the curve of hip.

If only it was my lover asking, then I would say:
Start with an ounce of slow soft strokes.
Combine two pats of butt with a whisper
of tongue against teeth.
Add a touch of hand to the back of the neck,
a lick of earlobe, a pinch of nipple.
Stir until you reach the desired consistency.
······················································Serve hot….

Actually, I’m inclined to agree with Google at the moment, that *does* sound like it would taste great, wouldn’t it? Let me know if you’d like to try your hand at playing bartender 🙂

Taking a good look at my calendar so far, it looks like 2014 is going to be a fantastic year! The weather’s warmed up to the point where I’m able to plan to go North again, and so I’ll be in Portland ME later on this month, from the 10th to the 15th. Grace Sheperd was nice enough to show me around the Old Port last time, and so now I know where to find a fantastic $5 dozen of oysters and a fantastic Earl Grey martini, as well as the best chocolate covered bacon currently being produced on the planet. So you know where to find me…

And speaking of oysters, I’ll be headed down to Long Island later on in April, which has been pulling up a number of fantastic oyster varieties out of it’s bays for the last few years. At first I was a little leery of eating anything out of the Long Island sound (whatever, admit it), but since my favorite West Coast oysters are off limits now (they officials *say* their safe… but whatever, admit it!) I decided to try something new, and was very pleasantly surprised! My new favorite oyster, at least for the next 250 years or so while the waste from Fukishima fades away, is the Naked Cowboy out of Port Jeff 🙂 The Island Creek Oyster Farm will always hold a special piece of my heart though… as long as they keep hosting that fantastic $1 oyster shot happy hour at the Bleacher Bar during Red Sox season!

And yep, I said Red Sox season, not baseball season… I wonder how popular I’ll be in NY?

That’s not the only excitement on the calendar – I’ll also be headed to New Orleans, and on into Miami in the fall. We’ll see what else comes my way and which ways I head in the meantime! So excited for warm weather, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s still a little early, but I’m already eyeing new breeds of tomatoes to put in the yard, and making plans to survey my diving spots… this year’s going to be awesome 🙂

While I’m a big fan of New Year’s Eve parties (the perfect way to destress after all that stifling commercialized holiday nonsense), I’d be all in favor of shifting the calendar so that the first day of Spring was the start of the new year. That’s when life really begins, isn’t it?

As if it weren’t perfect enough – these photos were taken in Maine, by a photographer from NY, what are the odds? And for your further viewing pleasure… I can’t wait to meet this woman in October!

Hello Gentlemen –

What a fantastic year it’s been, hasn’t it? Well, not completely… but it did certainly have it’s high points 🙂 I hope all of you got exactly what you wanted for Christmas, though I do apologize for not being able to curl up under everyone’s tree, lol.

I myself got an *amazing* XXXmas present this year.  Being as it’s truly better to give than receive, I knew one of my favorite gentlemen had a birthday coming up, and as he’s already unwrapped this particular present several times I wanted to do something special, something to highlight a common interest that we have… and of course, something that I hadn’t already given him (so oral sex is out of the picture, at least for the moment, lol). What to do? I needed something special, something really sexy, something that said without question that we both deserve hours of erotic pleasure and would ensure that we’d get it…

OMG, not just *something*, *someone*! I knew exactly who to call. As a matter of fact, I’d been searching for an excuse to call her for years – Kassidy!

Lol, it’s not that I’m overly shy (I am, but just a bit), but even though I’ve been Kassidy’s admirer since we first met way back in the day at the Casino (where we will be again soon – more on that in a minute), but I do keep rather busy, and it’s obvious to anyone that Kassidy does as well. Quite the traveler, that lady! Our paths kept crossing as we ran through New England, but like two ships passing in the night we were never both in the same place at the same time long enough to properly introduce ourselves to one another, let alone get to know each other biblically 🙂

Not that I didn’t think about it, often. She’s much more than simply *hot*. Such gorgeous eyes, a super sweet smile, skin like chocolate silk, legs for days and an ass I could slap all night (a bit too graphic? Sorry, not sorry). Of course, all that I could tell by looking at her. After years of quick half conversations as we found ourselves at the same parties for a few minutes here and there, I also quickly gathered that she’s an amazing woman. Brilliantly eloquent, but still less talk than action. In case you haven’t guessed, I’m a fan! So, I decided to cross her off *my* wishlist and invite her to come with me to give ourselves to a very lucky birthday boy 🙂

Since it’s not only my story to tell, lol, I’ll leave the dirty details to your devious minds and just say that I believe a happy birthday was had by all… though I must say that I think this is a gift that will keep on giving 🙂 What I knew was going to be an amazing night turned into a fantastic weekend, and Kassidy and I had a blast together! We even threw together an impromptu XXXmas photoshoot, which you can see in my slightly unseasonable blog photos here.

Thinking you might need to reclaim a little holiday cheer for yourself, and hoping for a double serving of hot chocolate? Feel free to get a hold of either of us, and maybe we can arrange to come jingle your bells 🙂

I have my 2014 calendar now, so let’s start filling it!

Tori Black -Christmas Special brought to you by PornHub

Hello Gentlemen –

Wow, my intentions to post more were definitely well meant, but poorly executed! What can I say, life has been wonderfully busy over here, with just enough time to relax to enjoy the past few sunny days. Oddly, I haven’t been to the beach yet for the year, though you can be sure that I’ll be looking to change that very shortly 🙂 By now, you should know it doesn’t take much to get me to head to the coast on a nice sunny day, or a warm summer night, so don’t be shy.

So, what’s been keeping me so busy? Just the usual – school, work, an assortment of fun adventures, and of course you wonderful gentlemen. Oh, and the world’s shortest romance ever. Okay, maybe not ever (Romeo and Juliet fell in love and died for one another over the span of a week – Italians, you know how they can get), but certainly less than epic. Just like the unending, uneventful drama of Tristan and Iseult, we eventually let it go because she just simply lived too far away and with too many ties to her local area to let anything meaningful develop over here. Obviously she could easily say the same about me. It’s a shame because she was totally a cutie, and a redhead to boot! And very good in bed as well, when I we could coordinate schedules well enough to get there. She pretty much echoed my sentiments on men (we love you guys! Who wouldn’t love interactive sex toys?) and I’m sure that you would have loved her. Unfortunately, we just didn’t get far enough into things for you to come up, so I guess now she’ll never know about all the fun times she missed out on… a tear on her behalf. You guys are awesome!

I’m not really upset that it’s over, but it is a little unsettling to realize that she was the closest thing I’ve had to an actual girlfriend in years :/ It’s much harder than you might think to find hot sexual dynamos who insatiably lust equally after cock and pussy, while deeply craving both at the same time. Even harder to find sane ones! And then the challenge of finding girls who fit the above criteria who will also put up with me (I try to be easy to deal with, but apparently I’m not quite so easy…) pretty much lowers my odds to lottery level. Please gentlemen, find me some hot, horny, bisexual women to play with. I’ve tried, but I simply can not suck my own nipples. Besides, you boys have excellent taste 🙂

While beggars can’t be choosers (I know what you’re thinking, we women always find a way to be both), I do ask you to examine the above criteria. Hot – beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I’m happy to take a look 🙂 Horny – I’ve come to the conclusion that it may very well be just me, but I’m a very sexually active woman. I’m always on the lookout for partners of either gender to help me test my limits! There’s a reason that my time table starts at 3 hours, and it’s to give *you* an opportunity to tap out. I’d like a girl to tag team with!

Bisexual – This is the big one. And unfortunately, that’s a hard one for you to gauge being that you have entirely the wrong anatomy to do so (your big, hard anatomy is much better suited for other tasks), so I can’t hold it against you. However, it is well known that one of the biggest pet peeves for a girl who loves girls is finding herself in bed with a woman who doesn’t really like women. Especially when there’s a man watching, and the straight girl in disguise is just there to impress him, and bi girl is the one that’s going to have be doing all the work to help her accomplish her goal without even getting a good lick out of it. Even worse for a lady in this lifestyle, who could easily find herself in bed with a showoff straight girl who is not even so much into men either… thankfully my luck has been better than that nearly every time.

I love really bisexual girls 🙂 And not “really bi” like on the archaic TER profiles, I mean *really* bi. Girls that love feeling boobs on their faces for hours, kissing soft girly lips, stroking thighs – and would not consider the night over without getting into the harder stuff like tribbing and fisting. Girls that would eat pussy for lunch if they weren’t afraid their coworkers would steal it out of the breakroom fridge. Extra bonus if they can’t wait to share a cock with me! Share does not mean take turns, btw. If you’ve ever had a *good* threesome (and I know without a doubt that some of you have!) then that’s not news to you.

I’ve had several “duo partners” and, sorry to say it, I’m really not much looking for another gay for pay girl… unless it’s that stunning lesbian with a financial fetish (it shouldn’t shock you that there are several women like that in this lifestyle, and so I hear they do wonderful things to a man and his money) that Brianna was nice enough to introduce me to at Lucky’s – please bring her back! I will certainly settle for duos partner in her case 🙂

Black and white lesbians in the locker room brought to you by PornHub