The Mystery of Madame X

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you all had an amazing holiday! I *love* fireworks, and hopefully I’ll see plenty more before the summer’s through. Get in touch if you’re still looking for your 4th of July bang. My summer plans have been coming along nicely a well, I’ve been busy trying to make the most of my free time, visiting my favorite swimming spots and doing quite  a bit of diving.

Earlier this week I spent the day at one of my *favorite* spots out in upstate NY, catching up with some of my favorite friends… regrettably, I don’t see either the place or the people as often as I’d like, so I spent a little longer out there than I planned to. I was surprised to find that one of my best friends is recently single – ordinarily we’d all be slapping high fives and congratulating him, but in this case not so much… His ex is *ridiculously hot*, in addition to being an extremely intelligent and accomplished woman who complimented his life (full of his own achievements) in a spectacular way. If it had been any other man, I would have said he didn’t deserve such an incredible girl anyway, but my friend, (we’ll call him Joe) is a pretty incredible guy himself. Smart, spectacularly accomplished, well bred for whatever that’s worth these days, and really really ridiculously good looking. In addition to all that, his previous ex girlfriends (all fairly accomplished and attractive women) have told me that he’s amazing in bed. Seriously, the man must eat a big bowl of awesome for breakfast every morning. So why did… let’s call her Rebbecca… leave Joe? Simply put, I eventually had to admit to my friend, because he’s a jerk.

It wasn’t the cheating. They were both reasonable people who understood the value of respect and commitment, and the uselessness of monogamy. According to her, it certainly wasn’t the sex, although she did complain to me once that he had annoying habit of waking her up too early on her days off. They had plenty in common in regards to both activities and ideals, and really looked great together overall. Personally, I think she was his best looking girlfriend to date, in the time that I’ve known him.

But Joe’s a jerk. While no outsiders can really be certain of what goes on between two people when no one else is watching (and I do value my privacy and yours, so I’m happy about that), he really ought to have given that woman a huge amount more respect than he ever did when I was around. I can understand that from someone as awesome as Joe, respect can be a pretty hard thing to earn, but it’s not like you have to be frozen in awe of the woman constantly. It’s the little things that count, such as excusing yourself from yet another mundane meeting to go to her lecture and hear her talk about her research, or leaving someone else in charge of your development project for a weekend so that you can attend her sister’s wedding. Maybe think twice about filling your house with guests the week she returns from her missionary position in the desert? Even a dumbass that can’t figure out how to make a common woman feel special should still be able to make such a remarkable woman feel *valued*, at least?

Not Joe! Every time I showed up over the house for the last 3 years, I’d hear all about Joe – the evolution of Joe’s new project and how it would be able to finally crystallize Joe’s ideals in a concrete way that would show their inarguable worth to humanity, the degradation of Joe’s *old* ideas and how they were corrupted by inadequate petty people who failed to see the potential of Joe’s ideals in essence  and instead lost all that was good about them in the face of greed and fear (Joe’s a bit dramatic at times, but we enjoy each other’s theatrics), and basically how awesome everything Joe’s doing is, and how cool all his friends are and how wonderful it is that we all do awesome things. Being one of Joe’s friends, I do have to admit that we are in fact wikid cool… but how’s Rebbecca doing?

Rebbecca really didn’t speak to us much, except when asked, and I sort of got the impression that I was the only person that was asking. She was usually on her way to or from some exotic and virtuous charity mission, collecting data to support one of her profound anthropological theories, or doing something else that could easily be the topic of a riveting discussion. To ask Joe about Rebecca, however, all I would hear about was the wretched TV she insisted on buying (even though Joe’s friends enjoyed watching it when they were over), how her fixation on roses was standing in the way of Joe achieving a perfect biodynamically balanced yard, and how he distracted her from his plans by asking his opinion on the cookies she made for his party.

Joe has a pretty negative view on women altogether, which even though he’s a super cool guy and a great friend, is hard to put up with. For all the years I’ve known him, he layers me with praise saying how different I am from other women. Actually, I hear that a lot, mainly from chauvinists. I’m not interested in petty things like most women, I’m not artificially vain, I hold my ideals tightly in spite of fear and temptation to stray (which is easy, considering that one of my main ideals is to give in to temptation whenever feasible… and not much really scares me more than spiders), and I’m considerate without the selfishness of sympathy. I strongly disagree that any of that separates me from the half of the human population which the other half seems to regard as indecipherable. I’d say that the only thing that sets me apart, besides certain physical features, is that I talk a *lot*. And I’m not afraid to talk about what matters to me… I’m not afraid of anyone else’s opinion, unless you happen to be a spider. However I’m pretty sure that if any woman got over the fear of speaking their mind, and had enough trust in their listeners not to hold their words against them (frankly, my dears, I don’t give a damn), they’d probably show themselves to be just as “different”. Joe disagrees with me, but like I said, he’s a jerk.

Joe’s really sad about Rebbecca… the primary girl he’s been sleeping with since, while very pretty, is admittedly not as awesome as Rebbecca, who accepted an extended assignment abroad, dug up the roses, and told Joe he could keep the TV. I hope that somehow she gives Joe a second chance, because Joe was visibly much happier with her than any of the hot chicks he’s been with prior, even if he didn’t notice it himself at the time. And I really missed seeing her gorgeous legs walk around when we went skinny dipping last weekend.

~Mme X~

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Tags: NY

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 at 12:13 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.