The Mystery of Madame X

Hello Gentlemen –

Hope things have been going well for you! It’s just about time for me to show you my Maypole dance, lol. Actually, I’ve found that I’m really not half bad at pole dancing (yes, I do get a little unruly at strip clubs, but interestingly enough I didn’t find out there!) and I’ve been tossing around the idea of getting one for my living room. If nothing else, it would make quite the conversation piece – both for me and my peeping-tom neighbor! He’s wonderful though, and lets me get off on my voyeuristic streak as well when he brings his hot blonde wife into the kitchen with him for a little over-the-counter action, lol. Even though the fact that we never speak is half the fun, I definitely have a question for him – does his wife actually know I’m watching? While visually I’m just enjoying the show and having a hell of a great time doing it, somewhere my conscience twinges a little… but really, I know that she has to know. For one, I’m sitting in the window. But, does she know that he watches me when she’s not there?I hope so… and I also wish that she’d leave her bedroom light on and give me a solo show sometime, just to let me know that things are cool between us 🙂

As if karma conspired to keep me asking such questions, I stumbled upon this graphic on the internet. I could paraphrase it, but it’s more colorful and engaging if I just let you see it for yourself! I love statistics 🙂

So, the numbers pretty much speak for themselves. A few things I noticed –

• Women are twice as likely to lie about having an affair than men are
• If you’re going to cheat on your spouse, consider moving to Maryland, and stay out of Michigan
• 22% of women would rather drunk dial their annoying ex than have to go through teaching a random bar pickup how to eat pussy (I’m guilty on that one), while 23% of men have more confidence in the sexual prowess of complete strangers (let me know how that works out for you guys?)
• 10% of the general populous has yet to see those horrible tabloid pics of Angelina Jolie without makeup.
• A woman who insists on monogamy should be looking for the poorest man she can find.
• 40% of women cheat because they want more emotional attention… and the other 60% just want you to leave them alone so that they can get back in bed with the neighbors.
• 11% of women are so happy that they caught their husbands cheating, because now it takes the heat off of them!
• 20% of women lie about frequently fantasizing about Tyson Beckford.
• Seriously, more than 90% of people still meet their sexual partners offline? I suddenly feel like *such* a nerd…
• And of course online affairs are addicting. Let’s ask each other how we know, right?

~Mme X~

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Hello Gentlemen –

I trust that things have been going well for all of you! Things have been going well for me, aside from a few minor schedule confusions. But, I’ve been steadily keeping on top of my calendar, so as things change, the changes are reflected there. There are a lot of free days on my schedule this spring… but as you may have noticed, they don’t stay that way for long – I like to keep myself pretty busy! So, if you’d like to get busy with me, I urge you not to leave things until the last minute. Your inquiries, while appreciated, will rarely turn into an appointment within a day, and depending on how motivated I’ve been in my mainstream work, perhaps not within a week. “Tentative plans” aren’t really plans in my book – until I’ve got enough confidence to write something down on my calendar *in pen*, those general ideas of what I might do for the day are open to being trumped by more firm plans. I’m sure you understand. I’m not trying to be unfriendly, just efficient 🙂

A few words on methods and modes of contact – I prefer email, by a long shot. I can understand situations where a phone may be more logistically convenient than the computer, but if you’d like an answer to your call, leave a message. It would be best if your message included good times to call back, as I’m definitely *not* and would never like to be in the habit of calling people at random – I can’t read your mind, I don’t keep track of your wife’s schedule well enough to know when she gets home from work and what days she has off, and I’d prefer to err on the side of caution when it comes to discretion. Have you ever gotten a call in your office, where the subject matter was… let’s just say not appropriate for the office? Well, please keep in mind that unless I’m in the shower, eating, or sleeping (with or without you), I’m generally working, so please don’t call just to ask what I’m wearing. Really, if there’s any way that your call could possibly be construed as non-urgent, then I’d recommend email. I generally don’t answer my phone unless I’m expecting a call. Of course, I might, but those are horrible odds to play so don’t bank on them! Unless you enjoy the thrill of continually betting 00 at the roulette table. I don’t, and I really don’t enjoy playing the role of the house in that game either. I can’t find a ringtone for my phone that doesn’t grate my nerves 🙂

Of course I know that I’m basically preaching to the choir, as all this information is much more concisely laid out in my FAQ… and those that have a hard time getting through that rarely get over to my blog. Yours would probably be the call that I would answer 🙂 But don’t test faith, lol.

~Mme X~

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Hello Gentlemen –

Hope you all enjoyed your Easter! Even if you don’t believe in Zombie Christ (I’m Catholic, so yes I proudly worship the undead messiah, thank you very much), it was still a beautiful day to be enjoyed by all And glad to say that it just keeps getting better! I stopped by one of my favorite place to get lost today, and spent a good part of the afternoon being relieved that spring rain is at least 15x warmer than fall rain, which means I can now enjoy a walk regardless of precipitation. Besides, if the rain gets really heavy out there, there’s a silent movie theater to run to. A great way to wait out any storm! That’s my second favorite movie theater to go to, after the skinema in Hartford.

I love to go get lost… nowhere is a wonderful place to be, and I enjoy having no one around to prevent me from feeling the freedom of anonymity. Of course, it’s possible to still explore a different version of that same circumstance while running through megatropolis – such as NY. Only once, in all my thousands of trips down to the subway have I ever actually run into someone I knew (subway musicians don’t count!) and I’m told even that is quite the anomaly! And btw, I’ll be back in the city the week after next (4/18 – 4/20), looking forward to running through streets full of strangers… and maybe tracking down a few of my favorite friends as well I missed going to the Met last time – instead, I chose to oggle naked modern art.

Speaking of naked modern art! I know it’s incredibly impolite to kiss and tell, but a girl can’t be a lady all the time… and so I have to tell you gentlemen (who I know would *never* submit to such an uncouth urge as to tell everyone on the internet what you did with whom) at least a little bit about the torrid tryst that I shared with my hot Dominican girl She’s not my girlfriend, she’s barely even a friend these days as our work schedules seem to conspire to keep us in separate cities – I hadn’t seen her for nearly a year! Luckily, I have a fetish for sleeping with strangers, lol. I didn’t waste a minute thinking about the time gone by, and apparently neither did she.

One thing I love about her is that she is incredibly kinky, and fortunately we have quite a few kinks in common. Of course, her wild spontaneous attitude helped to win me over as well, never mind her fantastic ass! I had waited patiently in the city most of the week  until she returned from a business trip to another city, and on Friday night I finally got her call. She asked me if I wanted to go out to someplace nice where we could really show ourselves off – but when I pressed for details as to where she was planning for us to go and what we might do there, it became clear that she wasn’t actually intending to leave the house once I got there! I figured that left me a little bit of liberty and decided to dress for fun rather than functionality… and put on a candy bikini 🙂 I also made sure to wrap up my candy whip and take it along as well, if for no other reason besides it’s inherent deliciousness! To cover up all my naughtiness, I put on a risque-but-still-respectable dress, a pair of peeptoe pumps with heels only slightly higher than normal, and a pair of feathered fake eyelashes which took me nearly an hour to put on straight. The ridiculous things we do to impress girls, right? Once I arrived at her place though, I was so happy I put in the extra effort, as she clearly had as well – gold lipstick and a leather bustier which I soon found out was covering up some carefully applied gold nipple gloss.

We happily greeted each other, and almost immediately after our initial embrace she declared that I was stressed out from travel, and that she should relax me with a massage and warm glass… which I’ll admit *was* quite relaxing. I had had it in my head on the way up there that I was going to ask to take her out to dinner, but before I even had a chance she was already on to desert, taking cartons of green apple and blackberry sorbet out of the freezer and hot fudge syrup out of the microwave, and before I knew it we had made sundaes out of each other and eaten as much as we could 🙂 I spent most of the next day in the shower with her while we washed chocolate out of our hair (above and below, lol) but I certainly wouldn’t want to complain about that either!

~Mme X~

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